Adios, 2010. Thanks for the upgrade.

I mentioned in a previous blog that I had, until recently, been living a pretty below-average life. I'm still not really ashamed of that. I still don't feel like I've wasted any time or that I've missed out on anything... It's just time to move onto something that is a bit more shiny than the past. It's taken years to admit that, because I refused to work on myself, I wasn't moving forward. I was actually moving backwards. The reason I say that is because I look at myself a decade ago, and I'm closer to that Chelsea than I am to the one I was two years ago. Which means (and I'm slightly hesitant to admit this) that I had a lot of things right to begin with. Alright, I'm more worldly, I'm more open to trying new things, I have a stronger vocabulary and a better sense of how to interact with people, but between the ages of 16 and 26, I've been a fool.

So, instead of spending any more time focusing on my foolishness, I would like to say that 2010 was the year that I began a huge overhaul. 2010=Upgrade. 

I don't know what the starting point was. It might have been when I got the love of my life, Annabel Lee in mid December 2009. I've always loved dogs, but I've never had any faith that I had the wherewithal to take care of one. I've always said that the best mother is the one who admits she isn't in any way ready to be a mother. Same with dog moms. But I fell in love with my mutt and had to have her, so quickly, the nights of crashing on couches after the bars came to a halt. I had to be home with my "child". I really believe, however, that the first sign of any real change was this summer when I switched out this terrible door in my kitchen to a beautiful window. Everything just started happening after that. 

Upgrade #1: When one door is removed, it is replaced with a magnificent window. 

GOODBYE, DOOR

(Let me quickly explain that this door leaked and the frame was rotting and it let cold air in in the winter.)

HELLO, WINDOW

Upgrade #2: Chrysler Sebring (Michael Scott car) to Ford Escape (PROGRESSive car). Anyone who knows me knows what happened here. My car flooded with me in it. It was declared a total loss not even 12 hours after it happened. At first, I was upset and I felt odd about the fact that one misstep and I could have been injured or worse, but it led to better things. Bad things often turn into good things. Somehow.

Yup. That happened.

Much better.

Upgrade #3: (perhaps the most important, thus far) Smoking to Smoke-Free. This subject I could go on and on about. I have numerous blog entries devoted to it, so read those instead. Let me say, two months in, I have no desire to go back and I have no idea why I didn't quit sooner. If you're considering quitting, stop telling yourself you're going to "try" to quit and just say "I'm quitting. I'm done." It works a lot better. My Dad always (sometimes annoyingly) told me, "Don't tell me what you're GOING to do, tell me what you've DONE."

Lose.

Win.

Upgrade #4: (perhaps the least important) Old stuff to new stuff. Yeah, I am a hand-me-down kind of person. I think I always will be. I think things have a lot more life in them than people give them credit for and, more importantly, I am extremely cheap. Frugal, rather. So, instead of having an ironing board, I had a kitchen counter. Check out the pizza pan I've carried around with me since I went to college and the new pretty clay one Nate and Steve lovingly bought for me. Also, the cookie sheet. These things are just things, I know, but they're supporting evidence of the fact that things are looking up. And of the fact that I have people in my life that are there to help me out while they go on their own journey.

So, friends and strangers, Happy New Year! May 2011 bring more upgrades to you or be the start of your own overhaul. The unpredictability of it all is that some things we ask for, some things we have no control over, and some things are given to us by loved ones. There's really no telling what tomorrow will bring, but what's happening now is leading to what's next. Happy upgrading!