Real Life > High School (real life is greater than high school)

My friend who is in the Navy was recently asked by a (male) colleague of her's if she could take his daughters out and see if they would open up to her. They are 11 and 17. They get ridiculed for having wavy hair at school, from what my friend tells me. But she also tells me that they are beautiful, intelligent, interesting, sweet girls. I think it's so spectacular that they have someone to talk to who is still young enough to remember high school and relate to them. I told my friend that I would love it if I were given that assignment. I wasn't though, but I was inspired to put this out there. So this is where I start. (With a quick background of my personal experience.)

I had a relatively GREAT high school experience. I have no complaints. My freshman year was kind of a bummer because people made fun of me because I'm really tall (6'1") and I had big ugly glasses and puffy hair. ***(Little back story-I came back after 9th grade with super-cute, well-styled, highlighted hair, contacts instead of glasses, and a much cuter wardrobe. And things were unbelievably different. Yep. Sadly, that's all it takes. The movies are hideously correct on this one. People are TOTALLY shallow in high school.)*** Anyway, grades 10-12 were awesome. I was lucky to have a really great friends. I had parents that had great advice for me: Mom said, "Try to give everyone you talk to at least one compliment a day." (Do it. It works. But mean it when you do it.) and my Dad reminded me that maybe not now, maybe not even five years from now, but someday, you will be happy you were/are shy and left a little to the imagination. NOTE: I AM HAPPY NOW THAT I LEFT A LITTLE TO THE IMAGINATION. I am so glad I still listened to my well-meaning parents in high school (sometimes) and didn't alienate them and ignore what they were trying to help me with. Conclusion: I lucked out. I had a good high school experience. But anyway.

I doubt that I have many (if any at all) high school-aged readers. But just in case, let me tell you something now. High school is going to be nothing but memories for you. That's. It. Life outside of high school is... well, it's what life really is. High school is not and can not and should not EVER be compared with real life because it is so NOT real life. Wanna know why?

1. People will still be bullies. But. People are not afraid of adult bullies. It is no longer "cool" (two words I hate? "Cool" and "popular." GAG.) to be mean to people because they're different. In fact, it makes absolutely no sense.
2. And speaking of... You will notice something about adults. We are all trying to "out-weird" each other... Meaning that we're trying to outdo each other when it comes to weirdness. So guess what. The thing that makes us "cool" as adults? Our differences. Just exactly what made you "uncool" as a high school student. Seriously. This one is hard to adjust to... This 180º turn from what you're used to. If you can, just BE. YOURSELF. Embrace your weirdness as early in life as you can. Dive right into it.
3. Also? Some of the things that you thought were your worst physical assets, you will find out are actually your best. Tall? GOOD THING. Wavy, thick hair? GOOD THING. Unique style? GOOD THING. Being flat-chested (believe me on this one)... GOOD THING. (They'll grow, honey. Trust me. Just trust me.)
4. Sadly, a lot of the people you regarded as your best friends will probably walk out of your life (or you will walk out of their life) and that is okay. BUT. You will keep and nurture many friendships from high school, too. And you will make tons more friends outside the walls of high school.
5. There is no "popular" (GAG) in real life. You'll notice that people are still aspiring to be popular, but they're aspiring to nothing. (Oh, and adults call aspiring to be popular "networking." Duh. No one cares who you know.) You have two kinds of people in "real life": your friends and not your friends. Bam. That's it. Oh, and family. For me, my family members are my friends. So again. BAM. Friends and not friends.

I could probably go on, but those are some of the key points.

There's a few cliches I want to bust down right now, too.

1. Not every "mean girl/boy" in high school is going to go lead a miserable life after high school. Some of them will lead miserable lives. Some of them will not. Most of them will grow up. Just like you, just like me. What will amaze you ten years from now is how most people eventually grow up. And when they do, it's your job to forgive them if they were mean to you. Because honestly, who cares?
2. Being more "successful" in life post-high school is NOT going to validate any uncertainties you might have had in high school. Crappy reality: those insecurities will follow you around until the day you die. The only thing you can do is not look back at them. They'll get further and futher away, but someday, you will find yourself in a big puddle of "woe is me" and there those insecurities will be right there to hang out. Ignore them.
3. And kind of on that same topic... Don't base your desires on one-upping people. It's an atrocious look. For anyone. Because, like I said here, no one is going to be jealous of you, no one is going to be "hating on you" and really, you're just left doing something you hate, living a life to impress someone else. Definitely not the American dream.
4. You break through the doors after graduation and WOW! YOU'RE FREE! No more rules, no more curfew, no more anything! WRONG. The difference is this: now your parents aren't going to be your alarm clock, you don't have a schedule to follow (uh oh. You might have to make up and adhere to your own schedule), no one sets out a different hot lunch for you every day, you're not constantly surrounded by peers, you don't have activities and social functions lined up for you multiple times a week, your day often begins before 8:30 and ends after 3... Sorry. This is how it works.

So. I'll wrap this up. I think we all can agree that life is different after high school, right? It's better. IF I have any high school-aged readers, what I'm telling you is the truth. You may not have any point of reference other than high school right now, but trust us. We all went through it, it was horrible for most of us, and most of us are much happier now.